You have GOT to be crappin me!

OMFG! THAT just happened. This is SO bizzare. It's like the Royals buried the bodies of Bob Hamelin and Ken Harvey on the grounds of The New K for luck. (Harvey is buried somewhere under the tarp.)

Hi

For some reason, we haven't been keeping up with this blog lately. But that doesn't mean we're too high or low on the Royals right now. Reminds us of these lyrics:

I been on Main Street
I been on every street,
I been high but I been low more.
Ain't got no angles left,
With my heartstrings dangling down
I'm coming round to letting go.

This doesn't mean that we're letting go of our passion for the Royals. It's just that we're getting more...mellow. It must have something to do with age.

And then Callaspo boots a ball or Hillman does some dumbass thing, and we go ballistic like we're George Fuckin Brett on a golf course.

But it passes and we try to find our special mellow place again. This is a lot easier to do when the Royals are actually winning Major League Baseball games, which means we are more content now than we've been in a lot of years (six-game losing streaks and shitty defense aside).

Anyway, we're maturing. Yesterday, we even managed to watch Game Five of the 1976 playoffs. If you're too young to have it seared into your memory, this was the Chris Chambliss home run game. What we had never seen before is the interview with Brett in the clubhouse after Chambliss finished fighting through the crowd of humanity that was trying to congratulate him in a sort of frenzied New York kind of way. (It looked like Pamplona out there!) Anyway, the reporter asked a dejected George if he was trying to hit a three-run homer in the at-bat that resulted in the Royals tying the game late. George said the wall was 310 feet away, so he was trying to hit it 311.

And we fully realized that Kansas City never would been good enough to lose to the Yankees those three straight years, never would have been good enough to make it to the World Series in 1980, and never would have been good enough to win the World Series in 1985...without George Fuckin Brett. He can say whatever the fuck he wants to say in KC, and probably should.

P.S. We really need to score some tickets to one of the games in St. Louis this weekend. If you get us the tickets, we'll let you guest-post whatever the hell you want to on this blog for the rest of the season. What an enticement!

Uh-oh

! ?

This team is immune to long losing streaks. THIS team is immune to long losing streaks. This team is IMMUNE to long losing streaks. This team is immune to LONG losing streaks.

Living on Hillbilly Time

Yeah, the defense is bad. Guillen can't run. Soria is hurt. Aviles can't hit anymore and Dejesus can't seem to do anything right right now. Oh well. We're still in first place, and the only thing that's really bothering us is that tonight's game in Oakland doesn't start until past 9 p.m. Hillbilly Time.

We have lots of thoughts on the Royals, but none of them seem to be especially brilliant or original. So we'll just keep it short until we come up with some stupid things that we're just dying to say/write.

P.S. Butler almost got thrown out at second on a recent double off the wall. That's one of our favorite plays in baseball, and it almost always involves Billy. Or Jacobs.

P.P.S. Brad Pitt, who grew up in the house that was two houses behind our house, is playing Billy Beane in the movie version of Moneyball. The San Francisco Chronicle (apparently its still in business) has an article about the film. Wonder who will play Mark Teahen? Word on the street is that Bill James will be depcited as an animated cartoon character.

P.P.P.S. Oh, what the hell, here's another link for those of you who like to read stuff. The Atlantic is currently publishing some of the best journalism writing that we know of.

Down go the ChiSox

Here were our thoughts while listening to last night's game...

Davies needs to capture that late September, early April mojo.

Is Callaspo on steroids?

Why isn't Coco running more?

We think it's probably a good idea to pay union workers too much money to create things like the new crown on the scoreboard. It seems to us that this captures the essence of what stimulus is all about. Use taxpayer money to fund frivolous but cool things that the taxpayers can enjoy, while supporting a work force that earns good wages. If we're going to throw away huge sums of money, we might as well get something out of it, like jobs and a renovated stadium. Take, for instance, the St. Louis Arch. It's totally impractical and American. Think of all of the guys who got paid to build that thing back in the day. Think about how important it has become to the city and nation, even though it doesn't serve any real purpose. The time is right to invest in the next big ideas that don't make any sense but put people to work.

Is there anybody out there?

Have you ever melted plastic in your oven?

It's not a good idea to cook in conjunction with gin.

Who's our main competition in the division? The Tigers?

What's the deal with Davies? He's looking like a weak link lately.

Why can't John Buck throw ANYBODY out?

Jacobs! Holy Smokes!

Ozzie Guillen is more intelligent than he acts.

More walks by guys like Guillen and Jacobs? Good sign.

Why send the runner from third with no outs?

Thanks, Hillman, for pinch-running for Guillen and Butler in the seventh innning of a runfest. (But we probably should have gone ahead and won it in the seventh.)

Remember when Dejesus was good?

Remember when J. Wright was an afterthought?

Holy Schnikes! We win. Looks like we're going to have to get used to this.

Just checking in

Do you ever get down on your knees and thank the Baby Jesus that Greinke is a Royal?

The Royals are actually getting to the point where they're predictably good.

We bought another shirt that doesn't fit. This is becoming a trend. Are they making them smaller these days, or are we really getting fat?

Christ, we've been walking to and from work for the past few weeks. You'd think the beer belly would go away, just like that.

Winning is so much better than losing

Tony Pena Jr. could ground out with one hand tied behind his back.

Jacobs is about due for a couple of dingers, isn't he?

We like Jose Guillen. We can't help it.

Hard to keep Hochevar down.

No, we didn't pick the winner of the Kentucky Derby.

Yes, we went to the Elks Club to watch the Derby on Saturday and place wagers.

Friday's special at the Elks Club was frog legs.

On Derby Day, there was a women's hat contest. Lots of really old ladies (on the prowl) and big hats.

Miguel Olivo lives in his own mind. That attempted steal of home was stupid ridiculous, and awesome.

Anybody see Farnsworth lately?

Callaspo and Bloomquist already have more extra base hits than we expected out of them for the entire season.

Coco is a fine centerfieler.

Coco can't throw, but we don't care.

We bought some seriously funky silk shirts on Commercial Street. One of them doesn't fit, though.

HoRam looks pretty good in the pen. Late in games, somebody's going to have to get out the following on a consisistent basis: Mauer, Morneau, Thome, Sizemore, Martinez, Granderson, etc. This is something that scares us.

OK. It's Greinke time.