Big Donkey or just Big Honky?

The Big Donkey has actually impressed us with his fancy, heavy-footed footwork at first base (if you don't expect too much, you might not be let down), but what he really needs some work at is RUNNING the bases. AND turning on the inside pitch and PULLING it with authority. Butler's great at lining the ball up the middle or to right with that inside-out swing of his for a solid single. But he's supposed to be a Big Donkey, for crying out loud, not just another Big Honky. Don't make us change the name of this blog, Billy.

Here's the thing Billy: You're crowding the plate, they're pitching you inside, and you're using that quick, inside-out swing to fight pitches off for singles. Move back from the plate about six inches and generate some really productive bat speed. Charley Lau would have diagnosed the problem immediately.

Go Greinke! We really need to take 2 of 3 from the Tigers. By our count (and we're probably wrong), the Royals are 7-7 within the division right now. If this team is going to have a good season, they need to stay competitive in the division and make hay against the National League. The next few weeks are very important.

P.S. Somebody tell that academic terrorist Obama to stop pausing and saying "uh" every few seconds like he's doing a perpetual egghead NPR interview. We support Obama (all in), except that we're pretty sure we would never vote for him if we were a West Virginia coal miner. Also, we would never vote for Hillary under any circumstances.

P.P.S. Listening to John Edwards on Larry King last night, we're pretty sure Edwards is the illegitimate son of Jimmy Carter.

P.P.P.S. Listening to the second half of Larry King, we're pretty sure that Barbara Walters got to the top by killing a lot of people in her way. That woman has no conscience and she thinks she's hiding it. All of those times she made people cry over the years -- she was feeding on the tears off camera like a vampire.

P.P.P.P.S. We're also pretty sure that Big Donkeys is now officially sexist.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Did we ever tell you about the time PETA wrote us a threatening letter after we had published a serious column on bass fishing? It pissed us off, so our next column was about bull fighting.