We don't owe our lack of success to nobody

We’re done with the vacation and back at work for the American people. Today we’re writing a story about ethanol, which used to be known as snake oil.

Believe it or not, we don't think the Royals have bad plate discipline as a team (necessarily). It's just that opposing pitchers know they can throw the ball down the middle all day because nobody is going to hit it very hard.

We are thinking about reinstating our threat to sue the Royals for causing us emotional damage and severe depression all summer long. Our case, as it was conceived years ago, is built entirely on gross negligence. During the Dan Glass, Tony Muser, Tony Pena, Allard Baird, David Glass and Buddy Bell years, we’re pretty sure it was a STRONG case. And, trust us, we had DAMAGES that we could have proven in court. We’re not so sure that we could prove gross negligence this year, but we’re pretty confident that the Royals are really gross right now.

Here are some useful quotes from Catch-22 today. We don't know why you would find them useful, but maybe you'll find them either pertinent, poignant or funny.

-- "General Peckem even recommends that we send our men into combat in full-dress uniform so they'll make a good impression on the enemy when they're shot down."

-- He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

-- "While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it."