Welcome to the next best thing, Royals fans

Over on ranyontheroyals.com, Rany Jazayerli is discussing the abnormally large pool of talented baseball writers who root for the Royals (Bill James, Joe Posnanski, Rob Neyer, and so on). It must be true that you have to suffer in order to produce really interesting ideas, and nothing is more interesting than failure in spectacular fashion. In addition to the professional writers, there are also a number of ambitious bloggers covering the Royals. That's where this blog comes in. This (hopefully) will be your repository for good Royals links, Zack Greinke quotes and whatnot, even updates on whether or not Space Monkey Tom will score or simply spank himself bananas. Big Donkeys is like the Drudge Report without the flashing siren and all of the unflattering photos of Hillary Clinton. Or maybe it's like MLB Trade Rumors, only more focused on the Royals and less dependent on black as a background color. Everything is about focus/fractions/fractals these days -- just ask Horton from Horton Hears a Who. Or, if he wasn't dead, you could ask Richard Feynman, who predicted, "There's plenty of room at the bottom!"

This is not a porn site. Big Donkey is one of Billy Butler's nicknames. It apparently has something to do with him having a big bat. And that's all we have to say about that, unless we decide to bring it up again repeatedly. By the way...Did you see where Kaz Matsui got put on the disabled list or something with anal fissures? Holy crap! That's got to hurt. (We're not giving you a link, you'll have too google it. This is where we draw the line.)

ANYWAY, Big Donkey can hit. We don't care if he can't field or even if he can't spell. Billy Butler is completely awesome at what he does, and we want you to think of the writers and bloggers that provide us with the wealth of Royals information contained in these links as Honorary Big Donkeys. (We could have called them Little Donkeys, but that would have just been mean.)

We plan to update Big Donkeys practically every day, usually in the mornings, unless we're really hungover. Nothing fancy. Incidentally, here's today's news from the Royals Blogosphere:

IN ADDITION to coming up with the term Pozterisk*, our favorite prolific Polish writer/blogger is, not unlike Shakespeare, attempting to coin even more new words -- like crapshootiness, which has something to do with the NCAA Basketball Tournament.**

*You have to read the man's blog to understand.
**No this doesn't really have anything to do with the Royals. Sue us.

ROYALS REVIEW is pondering the epic battle for the final spot(s) in the KC rotation:

Perhaps the historical precedent here is the War of the Three Kingdoms era when
England, Ireland and Scotland got their intercine warfare on in the middle of the seventeenth century. Longtime readers will note that I've never really been a fan of JDLR, having been blinded by his horrible numbers from the beginning, so we can call him England. Davies and Tomko are lesser entities on the fringe trying to assert themselves, but also being manipulated, all while sharing a common celtic heritage and a reputation for grit and non-flattering facial hair. Or something like that.

MEANWHILE, little Joey Gathright jumped over a tall Asian pitcher last night on his way to first base. No shit. Jumped over him, just like he jumped over that car that one time. Joey is like the Evel Knievel of baseball (minus the cool name). The Kuroda Jump, as it will now forever be known, is already up on the You Tubes. Sam Mellinger mentions the Kuroda Jump on his new KC Star blog, Ball Star. Also, Sam gives us a good Q&A with Poz's favorite pitcher, Brian Bannister.

P.S. We know that Sam and the others already do a good job of providing lots of links to Royals information. It's just that it's almost Opening Day and we need something to do.

P.P.S. We can't be certain that Posnanski is a Polish name. We're not paid here to be certain about anything.

P.P.P.S. The kangaroo in Horton Hears a Who reminds us of Hillary Clinton.

P.P.P.P.S. We're already regretting naming this blog Big Donkeys. It's truly disturbing. We should have gone with There's Plenty of Room at the Bottom or There's Always Last Year. But now we're too lazy to change it.

P.P.P.P.P.S. We have long felt like the thing to do would be to stock the outfield fountain pools at The K with largemouth bass. That way we could just go fishing when Tomko gives up 5 runs in the first. OK. That's enough until tomorrow, assuming we get around to it and we're not too hungover.