Dear Mr. Moore,
Please don't sign my son David to play for the Royals. While David is a good little player, you already have a much better shortstop in Mike Aviles and a better second base option in that Callaspo guy. I still believe that David would be a decent bench player for some team, but I'm afraid your manager, Mr. Hillman, would give my David more plate appearances than he deserves. If you're determined to sign a middle infielder, go with that Willie Bloomquist guy. He can play all over the field and fits in better as a reserve. So leave my David alone. He is sick today.
Thank you,
Eckstein's Mother
P.S. Why did you sign that meathead sweathog Farnsworth? I could have warned you about him too.
P.P.S. Is German still on the team because you think you can trade him?
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