Big Donkeys Mailbag: the chickens have come home to roost

How do you feel about the Larry Johnson situation? -- Jose in KC

I think he should take it a step further and call out specific players, the coach and that Pioli guy for being fucking babies. Then I think he should keep sucking and get hurt.

What/who is most responsible for the current recession? -- Dave in Bentonville

The Great Recession was caused almost entirely by "best practices." Business schools teach them. Businesses adopt them. People consume them. Pretty soon, everybody's trying to do the same Power Point presentation, eat at the same restaurant, live in houses that look the same, and drive the same-looking SUVs. The country stagnates. People lose touch with what it means to live and think free. This has been getting increasingly worse, with futile interruptions of passionate resistance, since the 1950s. The chickens have come home to roost.

Is David Dejesus gay? -- an admiring fan

Probably. But there's not anything wrong with that.

What do you think about this whole stimulus deal? -- Jay in Jeff City

This stimulus stuff isn't creating near enough jobs. I don't think a whole lot of green jobs will ever be created. I support increased scientific research. I support wind and solar power (and nuclear), but c'mon. We need to exploit new ways to get at a lot of natural gas. We need to drill responsibly in Alaska and off our shores. We need to continue to develop hybrid technologies. But right now the focus has to be on jobs and the economy. Sure, we need better health care and, yes, the Arab world is a total clusterfuck...But those things aren't going to be resolved any time soon. In Missouri, I suggest using stimulus money to create a modern fast train network that transverses the I-70 and I-44 corridors. Engineers, contractors, and construction workers would have lots to do. New businesses would pop up along the routes (though some gas stations, etc., would suffer). Fewer people would drive and waste energy. Fewer people would die on the roads. Traffic would be eased. And so on. But, instead, we're giving out tons of minor grants to people who are researching obscure stuff that's probably never going to make a difference.

What do you hope to accomplish by climbing Mt. Sunflower? -- Sal in Salina

Personal glory.

How come you don't post any more boob paintings, and where are those T-shirts you promised? -- Larry in Licking

I ran out of paint and my paintbrushes are all gooked up and probably ruined. As far as the T-shirts and other things go, I am reminded of a call-and-response protest chant: "What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? Whenever you get around to it."

Is it true that you once worked for an Elvis impersonator? -- Bubba in Branson

Yes, that is very true. I still know all the words to "In the Ghetto."