Top 10

Top 10 reasons why Barack Obama should pick Jose Guillen as his running mate:

1. Obama needs to pick a non-Muslim who can relate to folks in middle America.
2. Given his popularity in KC, Guillen might be able to deliver the crucial state of Missouri.
3. Obama needs to pick someone with gravitas.
4. Obama needs to counter the notion that he's too white.
5. Sometimes the voters need to be reminded that they're a bunch of big fucking babies.
6. The Obama campaign covets Mike Scioscia's vote.
7. With the possible exception of Jeremiah Wright, Guillen is the best man for the job.
8. Obama needs someone who isn't afraid to tell Hillary to go fuck herself.
9. Women voters dig the long ball.
10. Unlike Obama, Guillen is 100 percent American and presumably Catholic.