The Cowboys and KC Texans, and other uniform notes

I'm sure this rant has been going on elsewhere...But you cannot, under any circumstances, have players on the professional football team in Kansas City wearing a picture of the state of Texas on their helmets. That is not fair to the fans or to people in Kansas City. They already have to endure this shitty football team. Don't make it worse with those insulting helmets.

As a matter of fact, it's high time that NFL teams stop wearing the retro uniforms. Period. They took that thing way too far and, yesterday, the Denver Broncos jumped the shark.

(I do like the old New England uniforms a lot better than the new ones. You know, with the red and blue guy hiking the football. But those uniforms aren't that old.)

Here's the thing. If I'm watching an NFL game, especially if I paid serious cash to be there, I want to be able to recognize that there are two professional football teams on the field. Jesus, the only way we really know who to root for is by the uniforms they're wearing. What if the U.S. Army suddenly decided it wanted to pay tribute to Revolutionary War veterans (from both sides)? They could dress like Minutemen in Iraq one week and Red Coats in Afghanistan the next.

You have to be able to easily recognize your team, or it just feels confusing and wrong. It's like when KISS took off the make-up. Bad idea. They already sucked as musicians, and now they didn't have an I.D. anymore.

The same thing applies to baseball uniforms. The Royals half-assed the powder blue deal, and it doesn't work. The Monarchs thing is nice once per year, but that's about all I want to see of it. And no red hats for any reason (unless it's a Monarchs thing).

NOTES:

1 - Toronto got the powder blue right.

2 - The all-time best sports uniform belonged to the old-school K-State Wildcats. That awful lavender and purple basketball getup was beautiful.

3 - Mizzou needs to incorporate a lot more puke gold in all of their sports uniforms. The yellow doesn't work.

4 - Do you remember the time the Royals played in futurama uniforms? I think they were playing Seattle. It was horrible.

5 - The KU football players look like sissies because they're wearing that gay "KU" basketball font on their helmets. They should insist on having a Jayhawk on their helmets. It's one of the most recognizable logos in college sports, for crying out loud. It looks great on a football helmet!

6 - I have a hard time accepting teams like the Tennesse Titans and the Houston Texans and the Carolina Panthers as NFL caliber -- just because the uniforms feel like they came from the USFL to me. Those teams could be the Memphis Showboats or the Birmingham Stallions for all I know.

P.S. If you order bulgogi, always go for the spicy.

P.P.S. If you're ever asked to volunteer extensively at a swim meet, don't.