Kendall Royalty (distill the life that's inside of me)

The Royals suck. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And so on.

Suh should have won the Heisman.

So I got this book for my birthday, Freakonomics. I've heard of it. Haven't started reading it yet. From what I gather, these guys are doing with economics what Bill James did with baseball. It does make perfect sense that the crime rate will drop with an increase in abortions, etc.

Speaking of abortions, the Royals suck.

Speaking of economics, Jason Kendall sucks.

So I'm supposed to be grading a huge pile of papers and writing a bunch of magazine stories, but I just can't bring myself to face either task right now. Maybe it will all be easier than I think?

Speaking of delusional thinking, Dayton Moore sucks.

So my son lost another tooth this weekend and he was demanding money for it. I told him he wears the same shoe size as me already (for crying out loud) but to put it under his friggin pillow, and then I forgot all about it. Apparently I later wandered into the room drunk and woke him up to tell him goodnight. The next morning he said he thought me coming into the room was "some kind of pathetic tooth fairy attempt." Anyway, I felt bad and gave the little bastard 20 bucks.

The next day I dropped Junior off at a birthday party and had a few hours to kill, so I ducked into Archie's. They were having a big Christmas auction to benefit the Good Samaritan Boys Ranch. My kind of place. Lots of old professional drunks and the occasional young and troubled woman-girl.

Which reminds me of the fact that I stopped into the Daily Pub the night before because I had an hour to kill before picking Junior up from swimming practice. Unfortunately, there weren't any hot troubled girls in there. But a really old, really drunk bag lady tried to hit on me. She slurred all of her words, but I distinctly heard her ask me to dance and then she asked me to take her to Red Lobster. As much fun as both of those things sounded, I declined.

Speaking of Red Lobster...insert something here about the Royals or a Royals player or Tiger Woods being cooked, boiled alive, or something like that (hopefully something funny).