Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Observations while listening to last night's game

Butler fielding the baseball like it has fangs.

God bless Kansas City Life for advertising on Royals Radio for lo these many shitty years.

Whatever happened to Guys' Potato Chips?

Teahen's breaking our heart(s). We're washing our hands of him. Spit. Biggest bust since Hurdle. Guess Mark's now qualified to manage the Colorado Rockies. Wait. Mark just doubled home Aviles! Mark is the man!

Aviles with the first non-Grudz outfield blooper catch by a Royals middle infielder all year. And nobody collided!

Our neighbor is cooking shit that smells like soul food again. And she's white trash. Weird.

Teahen just struck out. We're done with him. DONE.

Hannity is a perfect example of why all educated people should be required to read at least one good satirical novel (we suggest Catch-22) and get exposed to some really funky music and/or funky sex with an art major during college. What a tool that Hannity is.

The stat-heads were pretty much right about Bannister.

It's all about Favre. He might be a bigger tool than Hannity.

OK. We obviously stopped listing to the Royals game and things have obviously gone all to hell.

Our ex-wife is actually checking her tire pressure every day based on this Obama drama. We live in interesting times.

Have you ever tried Vietnamese food (non-dog)? It's the worst! However, good Thai food is better than crack.

Now that BOTH of our (my) shoulders are all screwed up due to pseudo-sports injuries, we'd like to try to give McCain a hug. Try is the operative word. (In no way do we mean to seriously compare our pseudo-sports injuries to years of suffering in a Vietnamese torture prison, where prisoners were likely sujbected to Vietnamese food.)

Have you listened to popular hip hop music lately on the radio? It might be time to put the Taliban in charge of American culture for a while.

Whatever happened to Sec. of State Condoleeza Rice? Don't we still have a lot of shit going on in the world?

Yes, Bill Clinton understood that this is not a liberal country. Hence, school uniforms, etc. If you want to do progressive things like climate protection and energy replacements, you have to throw the PEOPLE some bones. Obama should do a certain amount of drilling and build that stupid fence between the U.S. and Mexico. If he did those two things, he could get away with leading an energy revolution, improving health care and ending the war in Iraq. This is exactly how Bush got his war in Iraq in the first place. He pretended like he hated homos and loved the baby Jesus.

Obama should have agreed to debate Old Potato Cheeks all summer long.

The fat is in the fire, McHope. (And this ain't no lean meat.) What you got?

P.S. If the Quotable Human Forehead (Carville) isn't available these days, we're under-employed and ready to serve.

4 comments:

RoyalPrick said...

I liked Slaughterhouse-Five slightly more than Catch-22.

Does Daft Punk count as funky music?

WSPA said...

Vonnegut is my hero.

RoyalPrick said...

I always thought a "SH-5" post would work really well on this blog.

"The Royals lost, so it goes. Guillen yelled at somebody, so it goes. Gas prices are back up, so it goes. DeJesus got picked off, so it goes. Bannister got rocked,....."

Dan Holden said...

I'm done with Bannister. How long are we going to give him. His theories on BABIP make good fodder for JoPo columns and blogs, but he is not winning games.

I have to disagree about Vietnamese food. Pho Grand in St. Louis is perhaps the exception that proves the rule, but it is still one of my favorite dining establishments.

The Royals are always going to let me down. Everytime we get close to .500 we play a real team that squashes the dream.