Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Top 10 Hottest Female Voices Ever

This list was compiled a lot like the BCS rankings for college football. The method is complex, calculated, biased and completely arbitrary. Secret points have been given for things like strength of schedule and big wins. Also, white performers who were at their best between 1970 and 1990 have a distinct advantage for some reason. And all of the voices must belong to someone who is actually hot in general, hot in a weird way, or made hot by virtue of her unbelievable pipes.

1. Stevie Nicks -- Just like the white-winged dove...Stevie wins in a landslide
2. Sinead O'Connor -- Scary crazy, but check her out in the You Tube video below
3. Chrissie Hynde -- She's gonna make you notice
4. Carly Simon -- You probably think this list is about you, don't you?
5. Annie Lennox -- Powerful pro
6. Billie Holiday -- Classic
7. Linda Ronstandt -- Classic seventies
8. Joan Jett -- Put another dime in the jukebox
9. Aimee Mann -- Bonus points for singing on the Rush song "Time Stand Still"
10. Dolores O'Riordan -- Of The Cranberries; we like the Irish accent.

Also receiving votes: Belinda Carlisle (Go-Go girl), Tracy Chapman (Give us one reason she shouldn't be on this list), Madonna (Crazy For You was hot), That Hot Girl In The Bangles, Nina (99 Red Balloons), Sheena Easton (My Baby Takes The Morning Train), Pat Benatar, Geddy Lee, Natalie Merchant, Aretha Franklin, Janis Joplin, Kim Deal, B52s girls, Michelle Obama!, Michelle Shocked, Alison Krauss, Jose Lima's Wife, Edie Brickell, Indigo Girls, Veruca Salt girls, Eartha Kitt, Erin Fein, Debbie Harry.



P.S. Everybody loves lists. This is the kind of thing that should be on Yahoo's front page or in some magazine. You should really send a link to this post to a bunch of weirdos on the Internets.

Bonus! Check out this newcomer. OMG:



Thoughts?

5 comments:

RoyalPrick said...

Stupid Girl Shirley Manson from Garbage couldn't even get honorable mention. Booo!!!

You have turned off all Grunge fans. All 1 of us.

I gotta fever, and the only prescription, are more top ten 10lists. Or anything to keep me occupied until football starts.

WSPA said...

Sorry. It was an oversight. Really.

Dan Holden said...

Glad to see two of my picks made it, but I think Billie Holiday is only a token. I should have also mention India Arie and Sade.

Does Janis Joplin count? I mean she was probably wasted enough that she would be incredibly easy.

WSPA said...

You got me on Holiday being a token. I can't even be relied upon to be totally honest on an annonymous blog! But, unlike Janis, at least Billie was attractive. I think I let peer pressure get to me on Janis as well. Or maybe I just needed to include someone who makes Geddy Lee look good.

Andrew said...

An outrage! Debbie Harry should have made the top 10. She performed in the '70s and '80s, so she's from the correct era. Besides that, Debbie Harry kicks Sinead's ass in a googlefight.

Glad to see Chrissie Hynde made the top 3.

I realize, much too late now, that I should have also nominated Liz Phair. Perhaps when you compile your list of Hottest Female Voices Ever Who Made Only One Good Album, you'll consider her.