God have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of

Don't look now, but your beloved 2008 Kansas City Royals are on a roll!

Davies and Duckworth are probably the second or third best back-to-back starters in either league. We really need to lock these guys up before other teams figure out that they're both Cy Young material.

And Shealy is a lock to hit 30 home runs next year.

Aviles should really win the 2009 AL MVP.*

Collaspo is destined to become an all-star.

*If Aviles doesn't win it, we're pretty sure Teahen will.

P.S. It's amazing how much damage George Bush has done to this country in eight years. And he's maximizing it! George Costanza would have done a better job.

P.P.S. It's very, very depressing that this country is in the shape it's in. We're really going to have to come together to start rebuilding this thing SOON. (But we just can't make ourselves come together, right now, over McCain.)

P.P.P.S. What nobody's saying out loud is that Palin's Fargo accent is solely responsible for switching North Dakota from a toss-up state in November to a red state, and that damn accent has also single-throatedly moved Minnesota from a solidly blue state to a toss-up state.

P.P.P.P.S. I have no ass. I was just trying to take a leak at a stand-up urinal in a public restroom and, when I loosened my belt, my pants fell down to an unexpected and unacceptable level BECAUSE I HAVE NO ASS to catch them. Thank God Larry Craig was no where to be found. I am starting to take on the shape of Hank Hill. It would be a shame if I have to get butt implants.