We can't blame this funk on Mizzou

Our mid-life crisis has been simmering for years, but now it's boiling over. We don't have enough money to buy a Corvette, and hair plugs are stupid, so we'll just be grumpy and depressed for a while. Then we'll probably make some kind of dramatic change in life that puts us on a new and terrifyingly absurd course. It seems like women handle these kind of funks much more efficiently. They just get men to move furniture around the house. It always makes them feel better to watch someone else move the heaviest object in the house through the narrowest hallways, around the most difficult corners, and into the room where it used to be before you moved it into that other room a few weeks ago. Then, when you start muttering and complaining, they refer to you as "Grumpy Old John McCain over there..." Then they tease you about breathing hard and they want to know if you should rest. Then there's a whole bunch of other stuff that's starting to piss you off. And before you know it, you're in full blown mid-life crisis mode. It's not funny!