When did Bombay become Mumbai?

Did Campbell Brown get pregnant since the last time we watched CNN? Or is she just getting fat?

This goofy Tom Foreman guy is beyond parody. You can't make it up.

Are we going to be forced to watch Fox News from now on?

The hair on our legs is disappearing! This is SERIOUS.

The Royals are so screwed if Alex Gordon doesn't learn to hit lefties (and hit with two-strike counts).

If there's one guy who should be doing some good steroids, it's Billy Butler. Man, he could really be a monster if he replaced some of that baby flesh with actual muscles. (Yes, we know he supposedly slimmed down, be he still looks soft and pudgy to us.)

We almost feel sorry for the Republicans. We're pretty sure that Bobby Jindal never screwed an art major.

Then again, we're pretty sure Obama would have benefited from sleeping with a hot economics major at some point.

P.S. There's no way Billy Butler has the balls to pull out his own ingrown toenail. Guillen probably had it right when he called Billy a big fucking baby.

THIS JUST IN: Lion mutilates 42 midgets

The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.