We are trying to resist the urge to be too optimistic before the season starts, which isn't difficult, right now, in light of the fact that
the Royals just sent their fourth best starter to Omaha,
it looks like Ponson will start Opening Day at The New K,
it sounds like Gload and Pena are going to make the team as backups for defensive reasons,
and our infield defense is still going to suck eggs no matter what.
Oh well. It also looks like Teahen is going to have the best offensive year in Royals history. So that's something we can believe in today.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
More on crack cocaine, halter tops and self-surgeries performed by Jose Guillen
Well, the Mizzou loss wasn't TOO painful. But, in case you're still a sulking Tigers or Jayhawks fan, we have a special treat for you today. Two Royals bloggers, Minda Haas and Sam Mellinger (a real live journalist), have sent us answers to the VERY important questions we posed last week (before Mizzou lost).
We feel a little bad about inviting Minda into this Royal Den of Corruption...ANYWAY, ladies first:
Minda Haas, Royal Blues
BD -- How many games will the Royals win this year?
MH -- Somewhere in the neighborhood of 81. A .500 record is attainable, but who knows - they might find a way, like using Joel Peralta on a windy day in a hitter's park (or at all), to win fewer than 81.
BD -- Choose one: Gates, Oklahoma Joes or Crack Cocaine?
MH -- My brothers and I traditionally eat at Gates when we go to games, so "HIMAYIHELPYOU?" owns my heart. But, as a wise man once told me, crack cocaine IS the crackiest of all cocaines, so there's that.
BD -- Who will be the Royals fifth starter? Who starts the most games at 2B? (Two-part question)
MH -- HoRam will start the year at 5th starter, but that will fail just in time for Sidney Ponson to be brought up from Omaha before his "I can NOT eat all my cheeseburgers on a AAA salary" deadline. Ponson will anchor that spot for a while, then after something happens to him, Bannister and Duckworth will have a contest to see who can get called up and sent back down the most before September.
I think it's obvious that the Spork is Trey Hillman's kind of player. I think he'll see the most playing time at 2B, even though that's not how I would do it.
BD -- Are you old enough to remember those halter top days the Royals used to have in the seventies and eighties? Did you ever attend a game on Halter Top Day?
MH -- I'm not near old enough, no. I would like that, though...all the giveaway shirts are too big and un-girly for me to like wearing too much (although I'm wearing the DDJ shirt from a few years ago as I type this).
BD -- What is your opinion about fake boobs? (Male and female opinions encouraged. Be specific about types, if you want, what you like and dislike.)
MH -- I'm not a fan of fake boobs. But then, I don't like too many outrageously fake things - fake tans, overly color-tortured hair, etc. So it's only natural (ha!) that I dislike the expensive grapefruits that appear on some women's chests. I suppose slight augmentations are tolerable, but the ones that are like quadruple-Fs that you can't look away from because they are literally poking your eyes out are pretty obnoxious and unattractive.
BD -- It's Opening Day and you got off work early -- What brand of beer do you start drinking?
MH -- Well, I'm still just 20, so on the record I'll have to say Dr Pepper. Ask me again in July...
BD -- When Mizzou finally loses in the NCAA Tournament, will it be one of those really classic Mizzou losses (UCLA at buzzer, Nebraska endzone, Colorado fifth-down) or just a regular heartbreaker?
MH -- The longer they do stay in the tournament, the more heartbreaking the loss will be. If they had lost to Memphis, it would have been a pretty pedestrian affair, just like the rest of the tournament games so far. But since they're now Elite, their loss will be via buzzerbeater. Or, if they advance to the Final Four, they will lose by having every player simultaneously die of heart attacks on the court at the last second, while their opponent's shortest player performs his first-ever dunk for the win.
BD -- What will be the next surgical operation that Jose Guillen performs on himself?
MH -- Breast implants.
BD -- How many home runs this season for Butler? Gordon?
MH -- 17 for Butler, and 19 for Gordon. Boring, I know, but I don't want to be the person who is all, "ZOMG, Gordo will hit 50 bombs this year!"
BD -- Bonus Challenge: You are Zack Greinke. You have just pitched a no-hitter in April. You are being interviewed after the game. The reporter asks you what the key to your success was, or how it felt out there, something like that. What is your best Greinke answer/quote?
MH/ZG -- "This morning when I woke up to my usual Chipotle breakfast, I realized I knew the secret to throwing Johan Santana's changeup, so I decided to play with that tonight. I didn't even tell Buck it was gonna happen that way. He had no idea those were coming, and I think that helped. It was fun to just throw whatever I felt like, because I knew it would work even if he didn't. He may not be too happy with me because we're supposed to communicate and all, but it worked out for me I guess."
-30-
Sam Mellinger, Ball Star
BD -- How many games will the Royals win this year?
SM -- Today I think 78 because I'm thinking about the bullpen and Alex Gordon having a breakout year. But last week I was thinking 72 because that 18-win Sept could be a fraud and the OBP concerns haven't been fully addressed. Next week I might think 83 because I really feel like Kyle Davies could be good. So I guess I'm still working on getting a solid answer.
BD -- Choose one: Gates, Oklahoma Joes or Crack Cocaine?
SM -- Oklahoma Joes, all day long. I think there is some crack in the fries.
BD -- Who will be the Royals fifth starter? Who starts the most games at 2B? (Two-part question)
SM -- To open the season, Horacio Ramirez. And Bloomquist.
BD -- Are you old enough to remember those halter top days the Royals used to have in the seventies and eighties? Did you ever attend a game on Halter Top Day?
SM -- Can't say that I am. But it sounds like a good time.
BD -- What is your opinion about fake boobs? (Male and female opinions encouraged. Be specific about types, if you want, what you like and dislike.)
SM -- Good friend of mine in college always said: "If you can touch 'em, they're real." He's actually now a doctor and works with, um, that part of the anatomy often.
BD -- It's Opening Day and you got off work early -- What brand of beer do you start drinking?
SM -- Miller Lite.
BD -- When Mizzou finally loses in the NCAA Tournament, will it be one of those really classic Mizzou losses (UCLA at buzzer, Nebraska endzone, Colorado fifth-down) or just a regular heartbreaker?
SM -- I hope it's just a regular loss. I really, really like watching that team.
BD -- What will be the next surgical operation that Jose Guillen performs on himself?
SM -- Iron-enforced cheek bones, to better take the impact when he has teammates slap him before games.
BD -- How many home runs this season for Butler? Gordon?
SM -- 15 and 23.
BD -- We have come to think of Farnsworth as the Meaty Sweathog. If you are old enough to have watched lots of episodes of Welcome Back Kotter, please tell us which Royals players represent which Sweathogs (Travolta, Horshack, Freddie Washington and Epstein)?
SM -- You're making me feel very young with these questions.
BD -- Bonus Challenge: You are Zack Greinke. You have just pitched a no-hitter in April. You are being interviewed after the game. The reporter asks you what the key to your success was, or how it felt out there, something like that. What is your best Greinke answer/quote?
SM/ZG -- "That must be what it felt like to pitch against the Royals my second year."
-30-
We feel a little bad about inviting Minda into this Royal Den of Corruption...ANYWAY, ladies first:
Minda Haas, Royal Blues
BD -- How many games will the Royals win this year?
MH -- Somewhere in the neighborhood of 81. A .500 record is attainable, but who knows - they might find a way, like using Joel Peralta on a windy day in a hitter's park (or at all), to win fewer than 81.
BD -- Choose one: Gates, Oklahoma Joes or Crack Cocaine?
MH -- My brothers and I traditionally eat at Gates when we go to games, so "HIMAYIHELPYOU?" owns my heart. But, as a wise man once told me, crack cocaine IS the crackiest of all cocaines, so there's that.
BD -- Who will be the Royals fifth starter? Who starts the most games at 2B? (Two-part question)
MH -- HoRam will start the year at 5th starter, but that will fail just in time for Sidney Ponson to be brought up from Omaha before his "I can NOT eat all my cheeseburgers on a AAA salary" deadline. Ponson will anchor that spot for a while, then after something happens to him, Bannister and Duckworth will have a contest to see who can get called up and sent back down the most before September.
I think it's obvious that the Spork is Trey Hillman's kind of player. I think he'll see the most playing time at 2B, even though that's not how I would do it.
BD -- Are you old enough to remember those halter top days the Royals used to have in the seventies and eighties? Did you ever attend a game on Halter Top Day?
MH -- I'm not near old enough, no. I would like that, though...all the giveaway shirts are too big and un-girly for me to like wearing too much (although I'm wearing the DDJ shirt from a few years ago as I type this).
BD -- What is your opinion about fake boobs? (Male and female opinions encouraged. Be specific about types, if you want, what you like and dislike.)
MH -- I'm not a fan of fake boobs. But then, I don't like too many outrageously fake things - fake tans, overly color-tortured hair, etc. So it's only natural (ha!) that I dislike the expensive grapefruits that appear on some women's chests. I suppose slight augmentations are tolerable, but the ones that are like quadruple-Fs that you can't look away from because they are literally poking your eyes out are pretty obnoxious and unattractive.
BD -- It's Opening Day and you got off work early -- What brand of beer do you start drinking?
MH -- Well, I'm still just 20, so on the record I'll have to say Dr Pepper. Ask me again in July...
BD -- When Mizzou finally loses in the NCAA Tournament, will it be one of those really classic Mizzou losses (UCLA at buzzer, Nebraska endzone, Colorado fifth-down) or just a regular heartbreaker?
MH -- The longer they do stay in the tournament, the more heartbreaking the loss will be. If they had lost to Memphis, it would have been a pretty pedestrian affair, just like the rest of the tournament games so far. But since they're now Elite, their loss will be via buzzerbeater. Or, if they advance to the Final Four, they will lose by having every player simultaneously die of heart attacks on the court at the last second, while their opponent's shortest player performs his first-ever dunk for the win.
BD -- What will be the next surgical operation that Jose Guillen performs on himself?
MH -- Breast implants.
BD -- How many home runs this season for Butler? Gordon?
MH -- 17 for Butler, and 19 for Gordon. Boring, I know, but I don't want to be the person who is all, "ZOMG, Gordo will hit 50 bombs this year!"
BD -- Bonus Challenge: You are Zack Greinke. You have just pitched a no-hitter in April. You are being interviewed after the game. The reporter asks you what the key to your success was, or how it felt out there, something like that. What is your best Greinke answer/quote?
MH/ZG -- "This morning when I woke up to my usual Chipotle breakfast, I realized I knew the secret to throwing Johan Santana's changeup, so I decided to play with that tonight. I didn't even tell Buck it was gonna happen that way. He had no idea those were coming, and I think that helped. It was fun to just throw whatever I felt like, because I knew it would work even if he didn't. He may not be too happy with me because we're supposed to communicate and all, but it worked out for me I guess."
-30-
Sam Mellinger, Ball Star
BD -- How many games will the Royals win this year?
SM -- Today I think 78 because I'm thinking about the bullpen and Alex Gordon having a breakout year. But last week I was thinking 72 because that 18-win Sept could be a fraud and the OBP concerns haven't been fully addressed. Next week I might think 83 because I really feel like Kyle Davies could be good. So I guess I'm still working on getting a solid answer.
BD -- Choose one: Gates, Oklahoma Joes or Crack Cocaine?
SM -- Oklahoma Joes, all day long. I think there is some crack in the fries.
BD -- Who will be the Royals fifth starter? Who starts the most games at 2B? (Two-part question)
SM -- To open the season, Horacio Ramirez. And Bloomquist.
BD -- Are you old enough to remember those halter top days the Royals used to have in the seventies and eighties? Did you ever attend a game on Halter Top Day?
SM -- Can't say that I am. But it sounds like a good time.
BD -- What is your opinion about fake boobs? (Male and female opinions encouraged. Be specific about types, if you want, what you like and dislike.)
SM -- Good friend of mine in college always said: "If you can touch 'em, they're real." He's actually now a doctor and works with, um, that part of the anatomy often.
BD -- It's Opening Day and you got off work early -- What brand of beer do you start drinking?
SM -- Miller Lite.
BD -- When Mizzou finally loses in the NCAA Tournament, will it be one of those really classic Mizzou losses (UCLA at buzzer, Nebraska endzone, Colorado fifth-down) or just a regular heartbreaker?
SM -- I hope it's just a regular loss. I really, really like watching that team.
BD -- What will be the next surgical operation that Jose Guillen performs on himself?
SM -- Iron-enforced cheek bones, to better take the impact when he has teammates slap him before games.
BD -- How many home runs this season for Butler? Gordon?
SM -- 15 and 23.
BD -- We have come to think of Farnsworth as the Meaty Sweathog. If you are old enough to have watched lots of episodes of Welcome Back Kotter, please tell us which Royals players represent which Sweathogs (Travolta, Horshack, Freddie Washington and Epstein)?
SM -- You're making me feel very young with these questions.
BD -- Bonus Challenge: You are Zack Greinke. You have just pitched a no-hitter in April. You are being interviewed after the game. The reporter asks you what the key to your success was, or how it felt out there, something like that. What is your best Greinke answer/quote?
SM/ZG -- "That must be what it felt like to pitch against the Royals my second year."
-30-
Friday, March 27, 2009
10 questions for You
Answer in comments.
How many games will the Royals win this year?
Choose one: Gates, Oklahoma Joes or Crack Cocaine?
Who will be the Royals fifth starter? Who starts the most games at 2B? (Two-part question)
Are you old enough to remember those halter top days the Royals used to have in the seventies and eighties? Did you ever attend a game on Halter Top Day?
What is your opinion about fake boobs? (Male and female opinions encouraged. Be specific about types, if you want, what you like and dislike.)
It's Opening Day and you got off work early -- What brand of beer do you start drinking?
When Mizzou finally loses in the NCAA Tournament, will it be one of those really classic Mizzou losses (UCLA at buzzer, Nebraska endzone, Colorado fifth-down) or just a regular heartbreaker?
What will be the next surgical operation that Jose Guillen performs on himself?
How many home runs this season for Butler? Gordon?
We have come to think of Farnsworth as the Meaty Sweathog. If you are old enough to have watched lots of episodes of Welcome Back Kotter, please tell us which Royals players represent which Sweathogs (Travolta, Horshack, Freddie Washington and Epstein)?
Bonus Challenge: You are Zack Greinke. You have just pitched a no-hitter in April. You are being interviewed after the game. The reporter asks you what the key to your success was, or how it felt out there, something like that. What is your best Greinke answer/quote?
OK. You don't really have to answer all of these. But comments are still appreciated.
How many games will the Royals win this year?
Choose one: Gates, Oklahoma Joes or Crack Cocaine?
Who will be the Royals fifth starter? Who starts the most games at 2B? (Two-part question)
Are you old enough to remember those halter top days the Royals used to have in the seventies and eighties? Did you ever attend a game on Halter Top Day?
What is your opinion about fake boobs? (Male and female opinions encouraged. Be specific about types, if you want, what you like and dislike.)
It's Opening Day and you got off work early -- What brand of beer do you start drinking?
When Mizzou finally loses in the NCAA Tournament, will it be one of those really classic Mizzou losses (UCLA at buzzer, Nebraska endzone, Colorado fifth-down) or just a regular heartbreaker?
What will be the next surgical operation that Jose Guillen performs on himself?
How many home runs this season for Butler? Gordon?
We have come to think of Farnsworth as the Meaty Sweathog. If you are old enough to have watched lots of episodes of Welcome Back Kotter, please tell us which Royals players represent which Sweathogs (Travolta, Horshack, Freddie Washington and Epstein)?
Bonus Challenge: You are Zack Greinke. You have just pitched a no-hitter in April. You are being interviewed after the game. The reporter asks you what the key to your success was, or how it felt out there, something like that. What is your best Greinke answer/quote?
OK. You don't really have to answer all of these. But comments are still appreciated.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
10 questions for Mets Fan Rob
Mets Fan Rob used to live in New York for a while, but now he lives in Springfield, Mo., where he enjoys being troglodytic, except when he doesn't. Yes, he's a Mets fan, but he once heckled Mark McGwire at The K and he once gave us a vintage photo (autographed) of Amos Otis in a Mets uniform. So Mets Fan Rob is good people.
BD -- Who is your favorite Royals player and why?
MFR -- All-time favorite is George "True Story" Brett. My current favorite is Zach Greinke, and it isn't even close. Probably my favorite player in the game.
BD -- How is Carlos Beltran doing in New York these days?
MFR -- He sucks. You are so lucky that he isn't on your team. He grounds out every time, throws like Johnny Damon's sister (who, ironically, throws like a boy, as long as that boy is Johnny Damon) and runs like a little league catcher. I hope that helps.
BD -- What happened that one time when you woke up in the Mexican neighbor's bed?
MFR -- I don't have any recollection of that. I would refer any further questions on the subject to my attorney, Alberto Gonzales.
BD -- What do you think the Royals record will be this year?
MFR -- Most combined total weight of past first basemen. Not you, Billy Butler. You are a delicate flower.
BD -- What happened that one time when the Mets traded Scott Kazmir?
MFR -- I started drinking heavily and haven't stopped yet. That is my pledge, to stay drunk until Omar Minaya calls Scott Kazmir home.
BD -- If a girl asked you to pee on her, would you do it?
MFR -- Not unless she was on fire. And even then, it would depend on the size of the fire. And the girl.
(I would like to take this opportunity to welcome those of you who are only here because of a google search involving that question. Sorry to waste your time.)
BD -- Who is your biggest fantasy sleeper this year? (Don't worry about giving away the info; nobody reads this blog.)
MFR -- Shallow: Jason Motte. Deep: Daniel Murphy. Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller: What Would Jesus Guzman Do?
BD -- If Lyle Lovett was a baseball player, what position would he play?
MFR -- Journeyman Middle Reliever on a one year deal. And he would sing:
"If I throw the heat
I can paint the corners
But when I try the slider
I throw it in the dirt.
And we could all together
go out to the bullpen
and you could watch my slider in the dirt."
BD -- How many beers will Jeremy have had by the third inning of Opening Day at The K?
MFR -- It was my understanding that there would be no math.
BD -- Smallmouth or trout?
MFR -- I like my fishing like I like my women: easy, shallow, and just a little cold. Smallmouth.
BD -- Who is your favorite Royals player and why?
MFR -- All-time favorite is George "True Story" Brett. My current favorite is Zach Greinke, and it isn't even close. Probably my favorite player in the game.
BD -- How is Carlos Beltran doing in New York these days?
MFR -- He sucks. You are so lucky that he isn't on your team. He grounds out every time, throws like Johnny Damon's sister (who, ironically, throws like a boy, as long as that boy is Johnny Damon) and runs like a little league catcher. I hope that helps.
BD -- What happened that one time when you woke up in the Mexican neighbor's bed?
MFR -- I don't have any recollection of that. I would refer any further questions on the subject to my attorney, Alberto Gonzales.
BD -- What do you think the Royals record will be this year?
MFR -- Most combined total weight of past first basemen. Not you, Billy Butler. You are a delicate flower.
BD -- What happened that one time when the Mets traded Scott Kazmir?
MFR -- I started drinking heavily and haven't stopped yet. That is my pledge, to stay drunk until Omar Minaya calls Scott Kazmir home.
BD -- If a girl asked you to pee on her, would you do it?
MFR -- Not unless she was on fire. And even then, it would depend on the size of the fire. And the girl.
(I would like to take this opportunity to welcome those of you who are only here because of a google search involving that question. Sorry to waste your time.)
BD -- Who is your biggest fantasy sleeper this year? (Don't worry about giving away the info; nobody reads this blog.)
MFR -- Shallow: Jason Motte. Deep: Daniel Murphy. Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller: What Would Jesus Guzman Do?
BD -- If Lyle Lovett was a baseball player, what position would he play?
MFR -- Journeyman Middle Reliever on a one year deal. And he would sing:
"If I throw the heat
I can paint the corners
But when I try the slider
I throw it in the dirt.
And we could all together
go out to the bullpen
and you could watch my slider in the dirt."
BD -- How many beers will Jeremy have had by the third inning of Opening Day at The K?
MFR -- It was my understanding that there would be no math.
BD -- Smallmouth or trout?
MFR -- I like my fishing like I like my women: easy, shallow, and just a little cold. Smallmouth.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Billy Butler: Athlete
We listened to yesterday's Padres-Royals game.
At one point, Billy Butler, who was playing first, was taking a throw from the outfield at second base. This had something to do with the fact that Mark Teahen doesn't know how to play second base.
If you needed a home run to win a game, you'd want Joel Peralta on the mound.
The Padres announcers are really, really bad. They like to bag on the Royals for sucking, and it's killing them that the Padres are going to really suck. At one point, one of the announcers wanted it to make it perfectly clear that San Diego did, in fact, have a better record than the Nats last year.
We aren't worried about Kyle Davies as the No. 3 starter.
We're starting to wonder if the No. 5 starter is going to be Ponson. This doesn't worry us either, which is weird. HoRam is headed for the bullpen, if the Royals are honest with themselves. Bannister is headed for Omaha, if the Royals are honest with themselves. Yeah, we could live with Ponson as the No. 5 starter. We bet he would be slightly better than the average No. 5 starter, which is a good thing, and he'd also give Royals fans somebody to make fun of for being a fat drunk, etc., which is also a good thing.
Yesterday, after Butler walked or got a single or something, the Padres announcers were very concerned about whether or not the Royals were going to put the hit-and-run on; they were fretting about whether or not the pitcher was going to do a good job of holding the runner, Butler, who was probably stretching his lead to approximately 10 centimeters from the bag. That is all you need to know about the Padres announcers.
P.S. Moo Moo Mizzou!
At one point, Billy Butler, who was playing first, was taking a throw from the outfield at second base. This had something to do with the fact that Mark Teahen doesn't know how to play second base.
If you needed a home run to win a game, you'd want Joel Peralta on the mound.
The Padres announcers are really, really bad. They like to bag on the Royals for sucking, and it's killing them that the Padres are going to really suck. At one point, one of the announcers wanted it to make it perfectly clear that San Diego did, in fact, have a better record than the Nats last year.
We aren't worried about Kyle Davies as the No. 3 starter.
We're starting to wonder if the No. 5 starter is going to be Ponson. This doesn't worry us either, which is weird. HoRam is headed for the bullpen, if the Royals are honest with themselves. Bannister is headed for Omaha, if the Royals are honest with themselves. Yeah, we could live with Ponson as the No. 5 starter. We bet he would be slightly better than the average No. 5 starter, which is a good thing, and he'd also give Royals fans somebody to make fun of for being a fat drunk, etc., which is also a good thing.
Yesterday, after Butler walked or got a single or something, the Padres announcers were very concerned about whether or not the Royals were going to put the hit-and-run on; they were fretting about whether or not the pitcher was going to do a good job of holding the runner, Butler, who was probably stretching his lead to approximately 10 centimeters from the bag. That is all you need to know about the Padres announcers.
P.S. Moo Moo Mizzou!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Thank God Gload and TPJ are now stinking up Surprise
We had this ready to go last week during the Big 12 tournament but forgot to post it. The headline was going to be "Rock chalk." Or: "Don't mess with Baylor."
There's some interesting stuff in the news lately that hits home. First, the New York Times has published a great story about Springfield Cashew Chicken. Then we find out that the smartest breed of dog, of course, is the border collie. (NOTE: We had the link last week, but now we're too lazy to go back and find it.)
We would wager that the border collie is also the most neurotic breed of dog. (Dogs are a lot like people.)
OK. So we're going to list the Royals potential Opening Day lineup along with what we expect out of them without being too optimistic. Which ones jump out at you as guys who are especially likely to perform over or under these predictions? (We're using the Big 3 old school stats: Avg., HR, RBI.)
Coco: .285 10 60
Aviles: .285 14 70
Dejesus: .295 14 84
Guillen: .275 22 91
Jacobs: .259 26 88
Butler: .295 18 82
Gordon: .275 25 87
Olivo: .259 14 58
Callaspo: .295 2 44
P.S. Our Final Four picks are Louisville, Missouri, Pitt and Oklahoma. Our first round upset special is Northern Iowa over Purdue. Semi-surprise teams that we think might go deep in the tournament include Arizona State and West Virginia.(NOTE: our picks suck every year.)
P.P.S. At some point during his first game this season (very early in his first game), Manny Ramirez will have already earned as much money as we make in a year.
There's some interesting stuff in the news lately that hits home. First, the New York Times has published a great story about Springfield Cashew Chicken. Then we find out that the smartest breed of dog, of course, is the border collie. (NOTE: We had the link last week, but now we're too lazy to go back and find it.)
We would wager that the border collie is also the most neurotic breed of dog. (Dogs are a lot like people.)
OK. So we're going to list the Royals potential Opening Day lineup along with what we expect out of them without being too optimistic. Which ones jump out at you as guys who are especially likely to perform over or under these predictions? (We're using the Big 3 old school stats: Avg., HR, RBI.)
Coco: .285 10 60
Aviles: .285 14 70
Dejesus: .295 14 84
Guillen: .275 22 91
Jacobs: .259 26 88
Butler: .295 18 82
Gordon: .275 25 87
Olivo: .259 14 58
Callaspo: .295 2 44
P.S. Our Final Four picks are Louisville, Missouri, Pitt and Oklahoma. Our first round upset special is Northern Iowa over Purdue. Semi-surprise teams that we think might go deep in the tournament include Arizona State and West Virginia.(NOTE: our picks suck every year.)
P.P.S. At some point during his first game this season (very early in his first game), Manny Ramirez will have already earned as much money as we make in a year.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Do you fear the White Sox in 2009?
We think the Royals will be better than the Tigers and White Sox this year, but what the hell do we know? We keep waiting for the White Sox to fall flat, but Kenny Williams has proven that he has big balls and is shrewd. He got Carlos Quentin and Alexei Ramirez on the cheap last year. Those two young players alone would have made the Royals contenders 2008, and they possibly would have made KC the favorite to win the division this year. Anyway, it looks like the White Sox have a lot of pitching holes and position holes going in to 2009, and Dye and Thome aren't getting any younger, and Kornerko is on the decline...But we are still a little fearful of what Kenny knows that we don't. ANYWAY, here is a nice story about Kenny.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Royals to avoid A-Rod
So the Yankees will be without A-Rod when they visit The K next month. And it looks like the Twins may start the season without Mauer, which would be a big blow to that team. Last year, wasn't Granderson hurt when KC opened the season against Detroit?
This probably isn't cool (or Christian), but, if guys are going to get hurt, we hope a lot of them are good players on opposing teams.
P.S. Let's all hope that Thome's back goes out before Opening Day. That guy has always killed us.
P.P.S. We recently acquired a button-up light blue sweater thing (with pockets) that came from a thrift store in St. Louis. EVERYBODY thinks it's totally GAY. But we really like the light blue (powder blue!) sweater thing. It's light-weight, very comfortable, and our reading glasses fit nicely in the pockets. And, gosh darnit, we are comfortable with our masculinity. (The operative word is comfortable.)
P.P.P.S. Farnsworth is in mid-season form.
This probably isn't cool (or Christian), but, if guys are going to get hurt, we hope a lot of them are good players on opposing teams.
P.S. Let's all hope that Thome's back goes out before Opening Day. That guy has always killed us.
P.P.S. We recently acquired a button-up light blue sweater thing (with pockets) that came from a thrift store in St. Louis. EVERYBODY thinks it's totally GAY. But we really like the light blue (powder blue!) sweater thing. It's light-weight, very comfortable, and our reading glasses fit nicely in the pockets. And, gosh darnit, we are comfortable with our masculinity. (The operative word is comfortable.)
P.P.P.S. Farnsworth is in mid-season form.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Big Donkeys' power rankings as of March 5
American League:
1. Yankees
2. Red Sox
3. Rays
4. Angels
5. Twins
6. Indians
7. A's
8. Royals
9. Rangers
10. Tigers
11. White Sox
12. Mariners
13. Orioles
14. Blue Jays
We think the Rays and Angels are candidates to fall.
We think the Royals and the Rangers have the best chance to move up.
National League:
1. Dodgers
2. Mets
3. Cubs
4. Phillies
5. Reds
6. D'Backs
7. Brewers
8. Braves
9. Marlins
10. Giants
11. Cardinals
12. Rockies
13. Astros
14. Pirates
19. Padres
26. Nats
Note where the best teams (on paper) in all of baseball are from: New York, Boston, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago and Philadelphia.
By contrast, the best teams in the NFL last year were from places like Pittsburgh, Phoenix, San Diego, Baltimore and Nashville.
We're just sayin. But shit obviously happens. There's always a chance for a small market team to make the World Series, and that's cool with us, no matter how much we gripe.
P.S. Alex Gordon!!
1. Yankees
2. Red Sox
3. Rays
4. Angels
5. Twins
6. Indians
7. A's
8. Royals
9. Rangers
10. Tigers
11. White Sox
12. Mariners
13. Orioles
14. Blue Jays
We think the Rays and Angels are candidates to fall.
We think the Royals and the Rangers have the best chance to move up.
National League:
1. Dodgers
2. Mets
3. Cubs
4. Phillies
5. Reds
6. D'Backs
7. Brewers
8. Braves
9. Marlins
10. Giants
11. Cardinals
12. Rockies
13. Astros
14. Pirates
19. Padres
26. Nats
Note where the best teams (on paper) in all of baseball are from: New York, Boston, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago and Philadelphia.
By contrast, the best teams in the NFL last year were from places like Pittsburgh, Phoenix, San Diego, Baltimore and Nashville.
We're just sayin. But shit obviously happens. There's always a chance for a small market team to make the World Series, and that's cool with us, no matter how much we gripe.
P.S. Alex Gordon!!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Seriously
According to this, it's been two years since the Royals had a hitter with an OPS over .800. (Correction: They haven't had a spot in the batting order that has produced an OPS over .800 in two years.)
If we had lots of money, we would have put it in Gold two years ago. And right now, we'd take that money and put it into cheap houses. Seriously, we'd buy up several cheap houses right now and just sit on them.
That's what's eventually going to bring this economy back: cheap houses.
We are seriously worried about the Royals infield defense. Having said that, we are also seriously worried about wasting as many at-bats on Bloomquist as we did on TPJ (and Gload and Gathright) last year.
We are seriously considering starting a side business as a freelance resume writer and obituary writer. Who would have thought that there would be recession-proof ways to make money for an English major?
P.S. Did anyone see that story about the lion mutilating 42 midgets that we linked to last week? Seriously. A lion mutilated 42 midgets!
P.P.S. We are not going to be happy if we have to watch Joel Peralta give up a bunch of home runs again this year. Fortunately, we don't think he'll get the opportunity.
P.P.P.S. We seriously don't understand people who like upscale "BBQ." This is a food that is meant to be acquired from black people in a smokey shack in KC. Same idea applies to beer, as far as we're concerned. Seriously. We got so sick of fancy micro-beers when we were living in Seattle and Portland. Once, we got drunk in a bar and made the following demand to the bartender: "Give me something I can see through, preferrably something from St. Louis or Milwaukee or Golden, Colorado."
If we had lots of money, we would have put it in Gold two years ago. And right now, we'd take that money and put it into cheap houses. Seriously, we'd buy up several cheap houses right now and just sit on them.
That's what's eventually going to bring this economy back: cheap houses.
We are seriously worried about the Royals infield defense. Having said that, we are also seriously worried about wasting as many at-bats on Bloomquist as we did on TPJ (and Gload and Gathright) last year.
We are seriously considering starting a side business as a freelance resume writer and obituary writer. Who would have thought that there would be recession-proof ways to make money for an English major?
P.S. Did anyone see that story about the lion mutilating 42 midgets that we linked to last week? Seriously. A lion mutilated 42 midgets!
P.P.S. We are not going to be happy if we have to watch Joel Peralta give up a bunch of home runs again this year. Fortunately, we don't think he'll get the opportunity.
P.P.P.S. We seriously don't understand people who like upscale "BBQ." This is a food that is meant to be acquired from black people in a smokey shack in KC. Same idea applies to beer, as far as we're concerned. Seriously. We got so sick of fancy micro-beers when we were living in Seattle and Portland. Once, we got drunk in a bar and made the following demand to the bartender: "Give me something I can see through, preferrably something from St. Louis or Milwaukee or Golden, Colorado."
Monday, March 2, 2009
Carpe Diem, Dayton!
So how much money has St. Louis spent on free agents this winter? Off the top of our head, the Cardinals biggest move of the off-season was re-signing Jason LaRue.
So St. Louis must be pretty much set, right? They probably couldn't have used a proven set-up man who strikes out as many batters as any reliever in baseball.
And too bad the Twins didn't sign Juan Cruz -- he could have really solidified their pen.
And the Indians gave Kerry Wood approximately $7 milion more per year than Cruz. (And, yes, we are aware that DM gave the Meaty Sweathog almost twice as much as Cruz.)
Anyway, the Royals didn't get two of their biggest targets (Furcal and Hudson), but it wasn't for lack of trying. DM has been very active. In fact, the Royals have spent more money this off-season than most teams in baseball.*
The money spent this off-season didn't buy much OBP, but it did improve the team. Looking at the position players, the Royals are better than they were last year. They are somewhat better in CF, LF, SS and 1B. And you can realistically expect more production out of 3B and DH. Pitching is usually a crapshoot, but the Royals staff stacks up with most.
So the Royals are as good as every other mediocre team in the AL Central.
But, of course, there are still problems. We're guessing that TPJ makes the club and that he plays SS when Bloomquist isn't playing 2B. That would give you an updated bench of: TPJ, Gload, Teahen, and Buck.
That would look better if only the bench players were all somebody better than TPJ and Gload and Teahen and Buck.
*Remember: The Royals also spent more money than any team in baseball in last year's draft.
P.S. Does Alex Gordon have a hit yet this spring?
So St. Louis must be pretty much set, right? They probably couldn't have used a proven set-up man who strikes out as many batters as any reliever in baseball.
And too bad the Twins didn't sign Juan Cruz -- he could have really solidified their pen.
And the Indians gave Kerry Wood approximately $7 milion more per year than Cruz. (And, yes, we are aware that DM gave the Meaty Sweathog almost twice as much as Cruz.)
Anyway, the Royals didn't get two of their biggest targets (Furcal and Hudson), but it wasn't for lack of trying. DM has been very active. In fact, the Royals have spent more money this off-season than most teams in baseball.*
The money spent this off-season didn't buy much OBP, but it did improve the team. Looking at the position players, the Royals are better than they were last year. They are somewhat better in CF, LF, SS and 1B. And you can realistically expect more production out of 3B and DH. Pitching is usually a crapshoot, but the Royals staff stacks up with most.
So the Royals are as good as every other mediocre team in the AL Central.
But, of course, there are still problems. We're guessing that TPJ makes the club and that he plays SS when Bloomquist isn't playing 2B. That would give you an updated bench of: TPJ, Gload, Teahen, and Buck.
That would look better if only the bench players were all somebody better than TPJ and Gload and Teahen and Buck.
*Remember: The Royals also spent more money than any team in baseball in last year's draft.
P.S. Does Alex Gordon have a hit yet this spring?
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