Well, the Mizzou loss wasn't TOO painful. But, in case you're still a sulking Tigers or Jayhawks fan, we have a special treat for you today. Two Royals bloggers, Minda Haas and Sam Mellinger (a real live journalist), have sent us answers to the VERY important questions we posed last week (before Mizzou lost).
We feel a little bad about inviting Minda into this Royal Den of Corruption...ANYWAY, ladies first:
Minda Haas, Royal Blues
BD -- How many games will the Royals win this year?
MH -- Somewhere in the neighborhood of 81. A .500 record is attainable, but who knows - they might find a way, like using Joel Peralta on a windy day in a hitter's park (or at all), to win fewer than 81.
BD -- Choose one: Gates, Oklahoma Joes or Crack Cocaine?
MH -- My brothers and I traditionally eat at Gates when we go to games, so "HIMAYIHELPYOU?" owns my heart. But, as a wise man once told me, crack cocaine IS the crackiest of all cocaines, so there's that.
BD -- Who will be the Royals fifth starter? Who starts the most games at 2B? (Two-part question)
MH -- HoRam will start the year at 5th starter, but that will fail just in time for Sidney Ponson to be brought up from Omaha before his "I can NOT eat all my cheeseburgers on a AAA salary" deadline. Ponson will anchor that spot for a while, then after something happens to him, Bannister and Duckworth will have a contest to see who can get called up and sent back down the most before September.
I think it's obvious that the Spork is Trey Hillman's kind of player. I think he'll see the most playing time at 2B, even though that's not how I would do it.
BD -- Are you old enough to remember those halter top days the Royals used to have in the seventies and eighties? Did you ever attend a game on Halter Top Day?
MH -- I'm not near old enough, no. I would like that, though...all the giveaway shirts are too big and un-girly for me to like wearing too much (although I'm wearing the DDJ shirt from a few years ago as I type this).
BD -- What is your opinion about fake boobs? (Male and female opinions encouraged. Be specific about types, if you want, what you like and dislike.)
MH -- I'm not a fan of fake boobs. But then, I don't like too many outrageously fake things - fake tans, overly color-tortured hair, etc. So it's only natural (ha!) that I dislike the expensive grapefruits that appear on some women's chests. I suppose slight augmentations are tolerable, but the ones that are like quadruple-Fs that you can't look away from because they are literally poking your eyes out are pretty obnoxious and unattractive.
BD -- It's Opening Day and you got off work early -- What brand of beer do you start drinking?
MH -- Well, I'm still just 20, so on the record I'll have to say Dr Pepper. Ask me again in July...
BD -- When Mizzou finally loses in the NCAA Tournament, will it be one of those really classic Mizzou losses (UCLA at buzzer, Nebraska endzone, Colorado fifth-down) or just a regular heartbreaker?
MH -- The longer they do stay in the tournament, the more heartbreaking the loss will be. If they had lost to Memphis, it would have been a pretty pedestrian affair, just like the rest of the tournament games so far. But since they're now Elite, their loss will be via buzzerbeater. Or, if they advance to the Final Four, they will lose by having every player simultaneously die of heart attacks on the court at the last second, while their opponent's shortest player performs his first-ever dunk for the win.
BD -- What will be the next surgical operation that Jose Guillen performs on himself?
MH -- Breast implants.
BD -- How many home runs this season for Butler? Gordon?
MH -- 17 for Butler, and 19 for Gordon. Boring, I know, but I don't want to be the person who is all, "ZOMG, Gordo will hit 50 bombs this year!"
BD -- Bonus Challenge: You are Zack Greinke. You have just pitched a no-hitter in April. You are being interviewed after the game. The reporter asks you what the key to your success was, or how it felt out there, something like that. What is your best Greinke answer/quote?
MH/ZG -- "This morning when I woke up to my usual Chipotle breakfast, I realized I knew the secret to throwing Johan Santana's changeup, so I decided to play with that tonight. I didn't even tell Buck it was gonna happen that way. He had no idea those were coming, and I think that helped. It was fun to just throw whatever I felt like, because I knew it would work even if he didn't. He may not be too happy with me because we're supposed to communicate and all, but it worked out for me I guess."
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Sam Mellinger, Ball Star
BD -- How many games will the Royals win this year?
SM -- Today I think 78 because I'm thinking about the bullpen and Alex Gordon having a breakout year. But last week I was thinking 72 because that 18-win Sept could be a fraud and the OBP concerns haven't been fully addressed. Next week I might think 83 because I really feel like Kyle Davies could be good. So I guess I'm still working on getting a solid answer.
BD -- Choose one: Gates, Oklahoma Joes or Crack Cocaine?
SM -- Oklahoma Joes, all day long. I think there is some crack in the fries.
BD -- Who will be the Royals fifth starter? Who starts the most games at 2B? (Two-part question)
SM -- To open the season, Horacio Ramirez. And Bloomquist.
BD -- Are you old enough to remember those halter top days the Royals used to have in the seventies and eighties? Did you ever attend a game on Halter Top Day?
SM -- Can't say that I am. But it sounds like a good time.
BD -- What is your opinion about fake boobs? (Male and female opinions encouraged. Be specific about types, if you want, what you like and dislike.)
SM -- Good friend of mine in college always said: "If you can touch 'em, they're real." He's actually now a doctor and works with, um, that part of the anatomy often.
BD -- It's Opening Day and you got off work early -- What brand of beer do you start drinking?
SM -- Miller Lite.
BD -- When Mizzou finally loses in the NCAA Tournament, will it be one of those really classic Mizzou losses (UCLA at buzzer, Nebraska endzone, Colorado fifth-down) or just a regular heartbreaker?
SM -- I hope it's just a regular loss. I really, really like watching that team.
BD -- What will be the next surgical operation that Jose Guillen performs on himself?
SM -- Iron-enforced cheek bones, to better take the impact when he has teammates slap him before games.
BD -- How many home runs this season for Butler? Gordon?
SM -- 15 and 23.
BD -- We have come to think of Farnsworth as the Meaty Sweathog. If you are old enough to have watched lots of episodes of Welcome Back Kotter, please tell us which Royals players represent which Sweathogs (Travolta, Horshack, Freddie Washington and Epstein)?
SM -- You're making me feel very young with these questions.
BD -- Bonus Challenge: You are Zack Greinke. You have just pitched a no-hitter in April. You are being interviewed after the game. The reporter asks you what the key to your success was, or how it felt out there, something like that. What is your best Greinke answer/quote?
SM/ZG -- "That must be what it felt like to pitch against the Royals my second year."
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3 comments:
I'm glad Mellinger feels young. After reading these responses I feel hella old.
Yeah. I finally shaved my beard for fear of turning into the gray version of Jerry Garcia. And I really do remember Halter Top Days. They were real, and they were spectacular.
Dan, no need to feel old. I am pretty much an infant...just graduated from diapers and into PullUps like a week ago.
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