Kill the man with the ball

Yes, we've noticed that the Cardinals are off to a hot start against horrible NL competition. We're not going to mention them again until they start losing a lot.

We're not worried about Hochevar. He's going to be good. The rotation is practically set; it's been a long time since we could even think about saying that.

We're officially proclaiming this Big Tuesday. There's a lot on our minds.

Did you ever play Kill The Man With The Ball on the playground at school? Bet they don't get to play that game anymore.

The Royals are starting the inevitable early-season process of culling relievers. It seems like every team turns over about half its bullpen in the first few months of the season in order to find the right mix.

Jason Smith is batting .281 with 5 HR and 11 RBI in Omaha. (Oh yeah, he also has four errors.) Meanwhile, Callaspo looks pretty good, doesn't he?

Speaking of Platoon, we're firmly in the Elias camp. Though Tom Berenger did make some good points.

When we were a civilian contractor for the U.S. Army after Shock And Awe, we once took a picture of a guy getting a Purple Heart. He had half his face blown off, so we had to move to the other side of the room to get the shot.

We also heard a general refer to the Defense Secretary as Ronald Dumbsfeldt. Good times.

Another general who disagreed with the execution of the war got himself involuntarily retired. (He was separated from his wife, and the Army got some dirt on him having an affair.)

So it goes.

BTW, if you haven't seen this from Pat Tillman's brother, we think it's still pretty spot on.

Speaking of NFL football (not really, but we need to at least attempt a few transitions), the Chiefs plan for the upcoming season appears to be this: Suck really bad. If they had every-other-pick in this weekend's draft, they might be able to stockpile enough talent to compete in 2011.

If Royals Nation wouldn't have persisted in voicing its strong opinions about the way things were going, David Glass would have never been forced to spend some $$ and to hire Dayton Moore.

We made a phone call and scored free tickets to Saturday's game at The K. Now we've got to decide whether to go with degenerate best friend guy who will talk us into drinking too much, crazy ex-brother-in-law weed smoker guy, or old college friend who is conservative but laughs at all our jokes guy.

P.S. Have you seen this stuff where the teenage girls are beating the shit out of each other for no reason? WTF is going on? Maybe they're all emulating Lynndie England.

P.P.S. We know he's going to lose Pennsylvania today, but Big Donkeys is officially endorsing Barack Obama. From now on, it's going to be all about the Super Big Donkey Delegates.